This only happens to me - Part 2: The Arthur's Debacle

So, a good friend named Michelle gets this crazy idea to throw a 'Girls Night Out' party at a local thrift shop. It's such a strange idea that of course I just couldn't pass it up. So two Friday's ago Michelle and her 20 closest friends descend upon at Taylor's consignment shop in Morris Plains.

Well I was one of the last to arrive so I thought for sure all the 'good stuff' would be snatched up already.  I really only had one thing in mind to try to find  - and that was a designer handbag. As I  milled around on the first floor - THERE IT WAS!!  An absolutely beautiful shinny purple Dolce & Gabbana hobo bag. My first thought was - I probably can't afford it even if it IS second-hand. So I slowly pick up the price tag. I couldn't believe my eyes......it said $14 - yes that's right - FOURTEEN DOLLARS!  WHAT??!! Needless to say I snapped that baby up quicker than you can say "SCOOORE!"

I proudly carried that bag around showing everyone my supreme find.  They all started drooling and complaining that it's only me who finds these amazing bargains.  I just smiled, drank my wine and ate the free tasty hors d'oeuvres.

After about 2 hours of shopping we decide we all want to go to Arthur's. What's the chances of getting a table for 20 at 7:00 on a Friday night at Arthur's?  Well, after about an hour wait at the shop I decided to go over there ahead of the rest of the group and see how they were coming along with setting up for our intimate group.

Now here is where the interesting part comes in....They lead me upstairs and show me the table for 20. For those who know me well, you know I have 'seat issues'....Well needless to say, there aren't any corner seats with a table for 20.....Now what?  Well, obviously I've got to take one for the team and just deal with it.  So I labor over which of the 20 seats seems the least 'open'....I pick one and sit down. The other 19 didn't show up for a while. AWKWARD......Imagine me sitting at a table for 20 BY MYSELF!  Well eventually the rest of the party shows up and fills in......

OK so far so good. But now I need to mention that it was cold that night so I wore my black leather jacket and I also decided to bring my lovely new acquisition as well.  The purse is so special that I didn't even know where to put it.  Well, I eventually put it on the back of my chair between me and Debbie T. As you can imagine with a group that size, we laughed loudly and quite obnoxiously. We laughed so much it made other people laugh too!

And then it happened.....As we were taking our last bites of food......a waiter carrying a tray full of pickle juice and left-overs suddenly trips and DUMPS THE ENTIRE TRAY DOWN MY BACK! MY BACK!  NO ONE ELSE'S BACK - just MY BACK! Not Debbie on one side, barely Tara on the other (her favorite scarf did not escape unharmed). None of the other 19 people. Just ME.......Why ME?  Everyone knows I have ISSUES with waiters coming up from behind me........What are the chances?!?!!! But wait - it get's worse......As I get over the shock of cold pickle juice down my back - we discover that not only did the pickle juice land inside the hood of my leather-bought-it-myself-in-Florence-Italy jacket, BUT - you guessed it.....my one-hour-old Dolce & Gabbana bag now had partially chewed steak fat draped on both sides of it.....Does anyone understand just HOW BIZZARE this is? Partially chewed steak fat!.....  I INTENTIONALLY picked that EXACT seat because I thought it was the LEAST vulnerable spot!  I just bought the most expensive designer bag I've ever owned, and I'm wearing my bought-in-Italy leather jacket - and THIS is what happens to me!

Now do you know what the waiter says to me?  He says "Do you want me to call the manager?"  YA THINK?  Well the manager comes over and was extremely apologetic. When I showed him my bag he nearly fainted because he said his girlfriend is in fashion and he knows that this bag costs $1200!!!!  Well, I didn't argue with him about that!  He comped my meal, and Debbie's too cause she got ONE DROP of food splashed on her and offered to pay for WHATEVER the dry cleaning and leather repair bill would be.  Yet another 'it only happens to me' story..... Well, at least my meal was free..........(sigh)